To Hire or Not to Hire a Divorce Attorney?
Divorce: uncertain seas
The prospect of going through a divorce can feel akin to sailing directly toward a storm. It’s normal for people to feel deeply unsettled when faced with a financial crisis and an uncertain future, especially with someone they don’t always trust. After all, we can anticipate only so much when entering unfamiliar territory. Amidst this challenge, many people turn to divorce litigators for assurance that they’ll reach the other side of the storm. However, are well-intentioned divorce attorneys a guaranteed way to get your best result? Is hiring a divorce lawyer essential?
Our innate capacity in conflict
The short answer is no. You’ve been making decisions for yourself your whole life, and divorce is simply another series of couples' decisions. Divorce boils down to a conversation around your voice and vision for the future.
The initial challenge in divorce
Initially, people often face the challenge of becoming clear about their vision for the future and how they get there. It’s even more challenging to discern and hear what matters to their soon-to-be ex. How they can overcome their differences? After all, both people face a potential storm and an uncertain future.
The good news is that a good mediator supports clients in gaining profound clarity about the following:
Their vision for the future and values
Their partner’s vision and values
The obstacles and differences that lie in the way of getting where they want to go
Where they can find pathways forward
These aren’t things that a professional can tell you because you and you alone are an expert on your life. As a mediator, I don’t impose my values; I help people find what they care about most and support them in managing their differences.
Divorce mediation adapts to you
We help couples with and without attorneys find resolution and satisfaction moving forward. The divorce mediation process adapts to what you want. Some of our clients hire attorneys as informal consultants on an as-needed basis, while others get their questions answered online. Sometimes, we support parties and their divorce attorneys in turning duels into an opportunity for constructive conversation.
Choose what makes you feel most comfortable
You know what you need best. You may realize you feel more comfortable hiring a lawyer, or you might find that speaking with a consulting attorney helps inform your conversation and make you feel more confident about what you want. On the other hand, you may trust that you and your ex can work it out together. You can always hire or fire outside counsel at any point in the process, and as long as the other party agrees, you can bring whoever you want to mediation.
The truth is that the law isn’t always straightforward. This is why legal battles in divorce exist and how bills add up. Amid these battles, it’s easy to forget that it will eventually boil down to your mutual choices. In New York, less than 5% of divorces go to trial, which means if you don’t discuss your decisions, your lawyers will discuss it with you, then with you, and then your lawyers will discuss it more. Ultimately, a form of mediation or negotiation happens on some level, directly or indirectly.
How we can help you
We’re here to support you, calm the seas, and provide profound opportunities for connected communication and resolution. If you’re interested in learning more about our divorce mediation services and how we can help, tell us more about what you’re looking for here.
Interested in learning more?
Schedule a free intro call.
Intro calls offer a first step toward determining your next steps and take 10-15 min. Whether or not mediation is right for you, this is an opportunity to learn more.
During your intro call, you can:
Share about your interest
Ask questions
Learn more about the pricing and mediation process
Talk about the next steps
Click ‘learn more’ below and scroll to the bottom of the page to view the scheduling section.
