Custody and Visitation Mediation in New York (2023)
The words "custody" and "visitation" often induce stress for parents. When I'm supporting families in mediation, we generally use the phrase "parenting arrangement" or "parenting plan" instead. Ultimately, that's all that custody and visitation is - legal speak for how you plan on co-parenting during or post-separation.
As a mediator, I want to underscore that these discussions provide a profound opportunity for parents to discuss their child's best interests and make major decisions about where the children live and how they will divide parenting time together. As a neutral person, I help parents identify possible solutions and resolve their differences in a process that feels human, saves money, and moves at their own pace. Parties get the chance to discuss what is in their child's best interests in family mediation and find an agreement that works for them and their child.
These topics can be daunting, but they need not be defeating. I'll address how we support parents in mediation towards the end of this article - it's worth exploring.
If you're considering trying the mediation process or have questions, you can contact us here, and we'll help you explore your options.
For this article, I'll use the legal terms custody and visitation as they apply in New York's court system; however, mentally substitute in parenting arrangement or parenting plan if those words are stressful.
What's the difference between legal and physical custody?
Decisions regarding legal and physical custody differ based on the process. In court, the judge decides on legal and physical custody based on what they deem in the child's best interest. In mediation, legal and physical custody is determined by what the parties agree best serves their family and child's needs.
Legal custody
Within family law, legal custody refers to how major decisions are made for the child or children. Parents can share legal custody equally via joint legal custody or decide to give legal custody to one parent (I.e., sole legal custody). If they share joint legal custody of their child, they each have an equal say in decision-making regardless of whom the child primarily lives with.
What topics does legal custody cover?
Legal custody often includes, but is not exclusive to, the following areas:
Medical care
Schooling and Education
Religion
Childcare
What types of decision-making arrangements can parents create?
Parents can choose to make decisions for their child or children in mediation in several different ways. The final agreement generally reflects one or a combination of the following three options:
Joint Agreement: parents must consult one another and cannot make a final decision until an agreement is reached.
Consultation: one parent must consult the other before making the final decision. The parents need not agree.
Sole-Authority: the parent with sole authority can decide for their child without consulting the other parent.
What is physical custody?
Physical custody refers to responsibility for the child's care and supervision. Similar to legal custody, physical custody can be equally shared between parents (i.e., joint physical custody) or rest solely with one parent (i.e., sole physical custody). Know that there is a great deal of flexibility in creating a parenting plan that works for the whole family. I'll touch on how mediation supports this towards the end.
With joint physical custody, the parents divide time with their children. However, with 365 days in a year, it's difficult for families to split caregiving exactly 50-50. Parents can choose to share time equally or opt to have a primary and secondary caregiver (the primary parent is the parent with whom the child spends the majority of their time).
If one parent has, either by mutual parental agreement or court order, sole physical custody, then that parent is considered the custodial parent, and the other can visit with their child if awarded visitation rights.
What is visitation?
The topic of visitation arises when one parent has sole physical custody. As a matter of principle, the courts still want non-custodial parents to spend time with their children unless there are concerns, in which case the judge may order supervised visitation or no visitation at all.
With visitation, the non-custodial parent receives, or plans with their co-parent, a set schedule for when they spend time with their child. You can learn more here.
How we can help.
At Haas Mediation, we transform challenging topics into meaningful opportunities for deciding what will best serve you, your family, and your children through family (i.e. parenting plans and support issues) & divorce mediation. Our goal is to see parents enjoy lasting agreements.
We provide a judgment-free and supportive space for parents to say what they need to say and hear. Our clients get help in working out differences (small and big).
We take the time to understand your process and adapt our support to meet your communication style, needs, and time so you can take matters into your own hands and move on with more profound peace.
Interested in learning more?
- Andrew Haas, Founder & Principal Mediator
Schedule a free intro call.
Intro calls offer a first step toward determining your next steps and take 10-15 min. Whether or not mediation is right for you, this is an opportunity to learn more.
During your intro call, you can:
Share about your interest
Ask questions
Learn more about the pricing and mediation process
Talk about the next steps
