NYC Divorce Mediation | Finding the right divorce mediator
A quick Google search for divorce mediation or NY divorce lawyer or mediator reveals an overwhelming array of options. Paralegal services, attorneys, attorney mediators, online divorce platforms, and mediators are all vying for your attention. My own divorce and family mediation services are a part of the results. Even as an experienced professional, I find it's a lot to take in.
The good news is that the search "find an NYC divorce mediator near me" becomes much less stressful once you know what to look for. So, let's take a moment for a deep breath and boil finding the right divorce mediator down to the basics.
At Haas Mediation & Training, we provide in-person and virtual client-centered divorce mediation in NY and surrounding areas. We're seasoned professionals helping couples get divorced in a way that meets their mutual needs, saves time and money, and supports the next chapter of their lives. If you're interested in learning more now, you can click the link to schedule a free intro call. Otherwise, keep reading for a helpful guide to finding the right mediator.
What is a divorce mediator?
A divorce mediator supports couples in planning their divorce outside of the court. Divorce mediation offers couples much more control over their outcome as they, not the court, decide how they'll distribute their assets and, if children are involved, co-parent in the future (i.e., custody issues, child support, spousal maintenance, etc.). In addition, mediators offer a unique opportunity for people to engage in a divorce process that centers around their voice and vision for separation.
Ultimately, the judge gets the final say on whether or not the divorce will be granted; however, judges respect the mediation divorce process and couples' decision to forgo litigation.
Process Guide
Throughout the mediation process, the mediator acts as a guide assisting couples in understanding the decisions that go into divorce settlement agreements. Divorce mediators also help couples have the best conversation possible about the issues that matter most, record agreements during each mediation session, and write up a detailed summary of the agreements for clients at the end of the process. This summary then forms the template for the final divorce settlement agreement, which the parties can later submit to the court for review.
Neutral
A good divorce mediator remains neutral at all times; in other words, they never choose sides. This creates a space where both parties trust that they will receive equal support and, unlike a court battle, will never be forced into a decision they don't want.
This is also why mediators cannot offer legal advice or suggestions. In truth, it's challenging to know what a judge would decide on any given matter and to weigh in effectively damages mediator neutrality. However, they can support parties as they present their take on the law and help them to hear and understand one another better in ways that are difficult to achieve without a neutral third party.
Supportive
The value of self-determination wonderfully defines divorce mediation. A good divorce mediator supports their clients' voice and vision for the future and creates a space in which they explore and advocate for their wants and needs. When self-determination is supported, mediation leads to longer-lasting outcomes than any other process (you can see the stats here). All too often, I hear from folks who express experiences with mediators that pushed them in a direction they didn't want to go or judged their decisions. You should never feel judged by your mediator before, during, or after mediation.
Confidential
Divorce mediators also facilitate a confidential process. Similar to the old cliche about Vegas, what happens in mediation stays in the mediation session. This enhances the safety of the process and the opportunity for clients to speak freely without fear that what they say could be used against them in a divorce trial.
Transparent & Trustworthy
Importantly, divorce mediators should be transparent. When ending a marriage, honesty is everything with support professionals. At Haas Mediation, our reviews reveal that our transparency with each family fosters less stress and more confidence in the process and its outcomes. Divorce mediators ought to help make the divorce mediation process feel manageable. You can contact us here if you're interested in learning more about how we can support you.
Are there different styles of mediators?
Indeed, there are many different styles of mediation, which in itself is a form of alternative dispute resolution or ADR. Every professional approaches the divorce mediation process in their way (despite the style they claim). Thus, knowing the ins and outs of each type can complicate, rather than aid, the search process.
It's worth trying to understand their view of how they support clients. What do they see their role as? How do they say they will help you? Does that match the type of support you want? Ultimately, you know your needs and what will work for you better than anyone else. Trust your instincts!
“Ultimately, you know your needs and what will work for you better than anyone else.“
Where can you find a divorce mediation service?
So, aside from searching "find a NY mediator near me," where else can you look? Below I've compiled a list of where Haas Mediation most frequently receives divorce mediation referrals in NY.
Friends and family recommendations
A typical divorce mediation referral source comes from people for whom clients have a trusting relationship. It makes sense. I take recommendations from friends, family, and other parents with greater peace than other sources (not to discount my love for deep research dives on Google), but when I'm referred to a NY service by someone I know and trust, I'm quick to trust them myself.
Religious or shared-interest community
Religious leaders/communities and shared-interest communities are excellent sources for divorce mediation recommendations in NY. These individuals and groups often share similar values and may have referred friends to a New York divorce mediation practice in the past.
Marriage counselors and therapists
My practice maintains relationships with two excellent counseling practices in Manhattan, offering personal, couples, and marriage counseling (myTherapyNYC and NYC Counseling). If you're interested in exploring divorce mediation and have been working with a counselor, you can check in with them to see if they know of anyone.
Professional Mediation & Dispute Resolution Association Websites
Although the results can be as overwhelming as searching for divorce mediation practices on your chosen search engine, divorce mediation associations help aggregate professionals by zip code and area of focus. Below there are links to the most prominent associations.
Google (or your search engine of choice)
Sometimes, the personal search is the most rewarding. Choose any combination of "divorce mediation" and "NY," and you're off to the races.
What qualifications should you look for?
Unfortunately, there are no hurdles to becoming a divorce mediator in new york. Unlike lawyers or therapists, a person can call themselves a mediator without any form of actual training. This cuts both ways. Someone can also be a lawyer and call themselves a mediator with little training (they are very different crafts).
That being said, dispute resolution professionals hold higher education and advanced training as a 'certification' equivalent. I completed an MA in Peacebuilding and an Advanced Certificate in Cooperation and Conflict Resolution at Columbia University. In addition to divorce certification training and being a trainer myself, it provides the foundation needed to provide excellent divorce mediation services. Another mediator in my practice, Hannah Diamond, attended Harvard Law where she took mediation courses. An advanced degree in conflict resolution, studying mediation in law school, or extensive divorce mediation training reflect hard-won practice.
That being said, trust your gut. As we know, institutions are not a direct reflection of skill, and experience can play an equally profound role in a mediator's ability to assist clients well.
What is the general process for getting in touch?
Most divorce mediators in New York State offer a free initial meeting or intro call where you can speak one-on-one with the mediator, learn how they work, and ask questions about divorce mediation. If you're interested in scheduling a free divorce mediation or family mediation intro call with us, click this hyperlink to select a time that works well for you. You'll find the scheduling calendar at the bottom of the page.
Overview of Haas Mediation’s process.
What should they offer?
In-person & virtual
In today's hybrid world, divorce mediation professionals in NY (especially NYC) offer to meet with clients in person or virtually. Increasingly, most divorce and family mediations now take place via Zoom, given that it enables people to skip transit and attend the mediation session from the comfort of their home or workplace.
Yet, some people still prefer to meet in person. At Haas Mediation, we offer in-person mediation in NYC as well.
No matter whether you choose to mediate in person or virtually, you can have a successful mediation experience and resolve important issues. That being said, I have noticed that divorce mediation takes slightly longer online.
Co-mediation sessions
At Haas Mediation, we're unique in that we offer gender-balanced co-mediation. Some clients feel more comfortable when a mediator of the same gender is in the room, and co-mediation enables us to provide that experience.
Separation Agreement drafting
After the mediator helps parties discuss and resolve their differences, they can draw up a Memorandum of Understanding. This is a formal non-binding document detailing the couple's agreements from their divorce mediation (i.e., asset distribution, co-parenting arrangements, custody, etc.). The MOU forms the basis from which a lawyer or paralegal can draft the final separation agreement.
How much do they charge?
The cost for NY divorce mediation services runs the gambit from anywhere between $200 - $400+ per hour. However, regardless of the hourly price for the divorce mediation services, clients save money as litigation is at least 5x more expensive, and the legal process takes much longer than dispute resolution alternatives like divorce mediation.
I value that my clients engage in mediation to preserve their resources for the next chapter of their lives. So, whereas some mediators charge an attorney's hourly rate, our pricing reflects a fair; yet, affordable option. In addition, we cover our pricing with clients during the 15 min. intro call.
“From the initial mediation session to the final agreement, we recognize that choosing mediation over litigation profoundly improves clients' satisfaction with their arrangements and communication in the future. “
Concluding thoughts on finding a divorce mediator...
At Haas Mediation, we work with clients from all backgrounds with diverse priorities, living situations, and needs. We center everything we do - our complete service and support system - around you. From the initial mediation session to the final agreement, we recognize that choosing mediation over litigation profoundly improves clients' satisfaction with their arrangements and communication in the future. We help relieve the burden of the process so that you can focus on your vision for separating.
Searching for a NY divorce mediator or mediation service becomes empowering when you know what to look for. Importantly, just because you say "yes" to mediation doesn't mean you have to stick with it if it isn't working for you. You can always switch mediators or choose a different means of divorcing if you ever change your mind. So there's little risk involved with giving mediation a try.
Contact us to learn more if you're interested by following the link at the bottom of the page.
Interested in learning more?
Schedule a free intro call.
Intro calls offer a first step toward determining your next steps and take 10-15 min. Whether or not mediation is right for you, this is an opportunity to learn more.
During your intro call, you can:
Share about your interest
Ask questions
Learn more about the pricing and mediation process
Talk about the next steps
Click ‘learn more’ below and scroll to the bottom of the page to view the scheduling section.
