Co-Parenting During School Breaks
Summer vacation and other breaks from school take on a new significance for parents after a divorce. A shared custody plan that works during the school year might not be feasible when the kids aren’t in school all day and need supervision.
It’s tough to account for the logistics of co-parenting while also getting the quality time you want with your kids when they’re not in school. But with a little forethought, it’s possible to work out a plan that works for everyone.
Plan for an entire calendar year
The first thing to consider is how many breaks from school there are in a full calendar year. Summer break is the obvious one that comes to mind and is often the longest, but many schools also have a two-week break during the winter holidays.
In addition, there are lots of shorter breaks throughout the year. This might include a long weekend in October or February, a week or so off around Thanksgiving, and a week or more for spring break in March or April.
School calendars are very dependent on where you live. Some schools don’t do a three-month summer vacation anymore. Instead, they split up that time throughout the year in regular, two-week breaks to avoid learning loss. Make sure you understand your child’s school schedule before making any further plans.
Account for all the logistics
Once you have dates to plan around, it’s time to consider what you can realistically accommodate when it comes to childcare and time with your kids.
If your children are young enough to need constant supervision, you’ll have to arrange for a babysitter or daycare provider while you’re working. Alternatively, you could consider working out an adjusted shared custody schedule with your ex during school breaks. This might allow you both to alternate working and seeing the children.
If you live farther away from your kids, your shared custody might involve having them live with you only during school breaks. In this scenario, it’s crucial to not only plan for proper supervision but to also build in time to bond with them while they’re in your care. Recognize ahead of time that you might need to save up time off from work to spend with your children.
Finally, for many families school breaks mean travel. You’ll want to discuss any plans for trips—with or without the kids—with your ex before finalizing details of shared custody during that time.
Weigh your options
After accounting for all the logistics, it’s time to make some decisions. Perhaps having your kids live with you for 50% of the time during the summer isn’t feasible. You might work full time while your ex doesn’t. Perhaps a week’s vacation somewhere fun with your kids during that time could help fulfill the need for quality time instead.
Alternatively, if you have some control over your workload or schedule, you could arrange to work less during school breaks to care for your kids.
Thinking through all your options can be overwhelming. Many parents find themselves feeling torn. They want to spend quality time with their kids when they’re off school, but they also need to keep working to provide for the family. This can be further complicated by the preferences of the other parent.
Scenarios like this are a great reason to seek divorce mediation. A professional mediator sits down with both parents and facilitates a productive conversation about future plans that work for everyone. You can get as detailed as needed, right down to caregiving plans for long weekends or single days off from school.
In contrast, if a lawyer-led divorce ends up in court, a judge may decide on a quantitative custody division—50/50 or 40/60, for example. This doesn’t account for any of the real life details that inevitably complicate any co-parenting arrangement.
If your family needs help working out the nuances of a co-parenting plan, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with us today. We would love to walk with you and help eliminate stress and confusion as you figure out the next season of your life as a family.