DIY Divorce Papers & Forms (2024 Guide)
The reasons for a couple's divorce are often complicated by many factors, often resulting in a divorce that can be heated and complex. Divorce can get expensive, too, as attorneys can charge between $450 or more per hour, not to mention their retainer fees.
As experts in helping people get divorced well, we also have recommendations that aren't often mentioned, which can save money (avoiding legal fees, legal fees... and more legal fees) and time in the divorce process.
When can you use do-it-yourself divorce papers?
DIY divorce documents can be used for divorces that have not been contested. In an uncontested divorce or a no-fault divorce, the couple asserts that their marriage has been irretrievably broken for at least six months, they have irreconcilable differences, and a settlement agreement drafted resolving all of the significant issues of their separation (i.e., issues involving parenting plans [child custody & visitation] or support for a spouse or child, equitable distribution, etc.). In addition, the couple must meet a residency requirement which can be completed in five different ways. If the couple meets the above criteria, they can use the DIY divorce papers.
As a mediator who helps couples create divorce agreements that benefit them years after their divorce is finished, there are a few reasons why I'd suggest letting Haas Mediation & Training support you in advance. First, for couples who desire to file independently, we help them create meaningful agreements on every aspect of their divorce before filing. Settlements that couples agree on. This way, they can more easily move through the divorce filing process on the same page with the challenging issues already sorted. It's still far cheaper than litigation and provides a human and connected alternative to what can become a nasty process. I'll touch on these points later!
Who Can File a DIY Divorce?
As mentioned above, uncontested divorces qualify you for the do-it-yourself divorce filing process. In other words, if neither of you is opposed to the divorce and you meet the residency requirements and have settled the significant divorce issues, you're technically qualified to file forms yourself. So the better question may be, when shouldn't you pursue a divorce decree through the DIY process?
Time and again, you'll read experts telling you what you should do and question your capacity for decisions. Remember, you know your situation best and will understand the level of support you need better than anyone else. I'm constantly amazed by my clients' ability to pinpoint what will personally serve them and their children, if they have them, best.
That being said, some general wisdom is out there that helps inform your pathway toward legal separation and personal well being. For those facing domestic violence or disruptive differences, you may consider seeking outside help. In cases of domestic violence, legal support can help people understand and advocate for their rights within the divorce process. In disputes with disruptive differences, our mediation process helps people to have the best conversation possible and find common ground. In a domestic violence dispute, a person's decision to seek legal aid in filing divorce forms may need to be made unilaterally. However, couples facing heated differences over important issues often pursue divorce mediation together.
Divorce Forms & Divorce Laws Vary by State
All states have different divorce laws and divorce papers they require. These divorce laws inform how courts approach the division and distribution of marital assets, parenting arrangements (formally called child custody and visitation), child and spousal support (officially spousal maintenance), and grounds for divorce. Depending on the divorce process, this affects your filing process and your assets. The states also have statutory laws for divorces, each requiring specialized forms. You will want to get all the necessary form information from the online library offered by your state. In addition, most court systems maintain websites with all the papers and information you'll need (increasingly, they look like they belong in 2023, too!). However, as a New York-based mediation practice, we'll focus on divorce in New York. For a complete resource guide from the court system for divorce forms in New York, go here.
Divorce Forms in New York (Good news: the courts provide process guides)
New York's courts offer a detailed list of all the forms you need for getting a divorce and what they entail through two separate guides (you'll find them in the "Preparing the Papers" section). For a do-it-yourself divorce in New York, the unified court system offers two valuable programs to help guide couples through the process. The first program is for couples whose marriage has been broken for at least six months with children under 21. This page describes who they suggest the process for and provides a complete list of documents and papers you'll need to file for divorce. In addition, given the presence of children under 21, the forms include worksheets for calculating child support and spousal support and parenting arrangements (child custody). The second program is for couples meeting the uncontested divorce requirements and without children under 21. Without child support and child custody to consider, the divorce process for those without minors is shorter in length.
Issues to look out for when filing for uncontested divorces?
Avoid uncontested divorce DIY filing errors (Good news: the courts offer a resource for this as well)
Filing for divorce with the county clerk's office and receiving a court date can take six months or longer, depending on the county. For most people, a quick divorce is difficult to come by... However, there are things you can do to improve your prospects of a timely divorce and a judge's approval. First, ensure you fill out all of your basic information and file the correct forms that states require (i.e., separation agreement, affidavit of service, summons, etc.). Proofread for errors and ensure that the information for parents and children, if present, is uniform across all documentation. Look over the checklist multiple times to see if any forms are missing.
The Top 20 Most Common Mistakes in Filling Out and Filing Uncontested Divorce Form Documents in New York Which Cause Delays*
Now for the good news: the New York unified court system created a PDF of the most common mistakes people make when filing for an uncontested divorce. It's fair to say that each county clerk's office has seen many errors and disappointed couples. As a result, they've compiled a comprehensive list to help couples avoid filing errors.
Where to file for divorce in New York?
In New York, there's a good chance that you have options when filing for an uncontested divorce. First, select a county clerk's office to file your divorce forms with. Most often, this office is located within your county's supreme court. However, some counties also accept e-filing for divorce papers, which offers a faster and more convenient alternative to filing divorce papers in person. Here, you can find out which country clerk's offices accept e-filing for uncontested divorce forms.
How much is a DIY divorce in New York?
The New York courts state that filing fees for uncontested divorce papers cost $335 at a bare minimum. The initial index number alone for your divorce case costs $210 (this is the number assigned to your case). Amid a divorce, even these small payments can feel like a lot. If you are facing financial hardship, the court does have programs to help cover the divorce filing fees, which you can ask the county clerk about. Learn more about the New York court's filing fee waiver here.
Your divorce fees will be paid through the county clerk's office. Give them a call to see if you can pay online. During Covid, several historically 'in-person' transactions became remote for public health reasons.
Can I get a DIY divorce without a lawyer?
I wrote an article on assessing whether or not you need an attorney, specifically, what you should know in advance. You can read it here. Sometimes divorces require legal counsel. If you're concerned about this, you can consult a lawyer or mediator about your options. However, the DIY process doesn't require legal representation. Hence all of the guides the court provides help couples navigate how to file for divorce. As I'll mention below, even in a no fault divorce, there's a lot of paperwork, and sometimes people hire attorneys to hand the paperwork off.
If you're looking for a less expensive option than attorneys and don't want to file yourself, check out paralegal services for filling out and filing divorce paperwork.
Some concluding thoughts on DIY Divorce Filings
A DIY divorce, sometimes called a pro se divorce, offers an inexpensive alternative to routes involving attorneys and outside consultants. I've mediated many divorces where spouses agree on almost everything, from how they want to divide personal property to how they foresee making important decisions for their children. I'm continuously encouraged by the capacity of couples to persevere through the most challenging issues. For couples who mostly agree, filling out divorce paperwork themselves may be the most sensible route. They can work out their disagreements internally and complete their divorce papers together if they are confident in their communication. As seen above, the courts provide numerous resources to help guide divorced parents and couples through the process.
However, filing for divorce on your own isn't without its drawbacks. DIY divorce involves a lot of work. As you'll notice when reviewing the court's process guide page, there is no shortage of paperwork that couples need to fill out. Much of the paperwork requires meticulous attention to detail, and even with all of the guides on how to file for divorce, people still feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work.
As the adage goes, "Time is money," Depending on your situation, you may decide that a DIY divorce takes more time and effort than you want to give. For example, filling out and filing all the papers can be a pain. In addition, the county clerk's office is often flooded with inquiries and divorce cases which can result in slow communication when you need answers.
If DIY divorce isn't for you, who can you delegate the paperwork to?
Amid the headache of creating a separation agreement, many people delegate some of the work to a professional for their sanity. We draft a memorandum of understanding for our clients, which puts all of their decisions into a format that is easily transferrable to a stipulation of divorce. Those of our clients with separate attorneys will sometimes mutually select one of their attorneys to draw up the paper once all of their decisions are made. Other clients hire a neutral attorney to draft their agreement. Clients can even look into paralegal firms that can prepare a stipulation of divorce and help with filing for a reasonable price. These options help relieve the workload of paperwork and time spent filling out forms and filing for a divorce on your own.
As divorce mediators, we support a smoother DIY process, saving you time, money, and energy.
There's another pathway that saves money and time, supports your vision, and takes the mental burden of paperwork off of your hands. In our divorce mediation, we help clients create full settlement agreements and a strategy for how they'll file for divorce in advance. We are experts in transforming conflictual conversations into constructive communication. We help people's most disruptive differences become approachable and support them as they progress.
If you desire the independence and cost-effectiveness of divorce, we are here to help. We became mediators because we believe that divorce agreements should represent what couples, not lawyers and judges, envision for their future. We support you in realizing your desired future so that your divorce decree marks a new chapter you're prepared for.
If you're interested in taking an initial step towards learning more and exploring if mediation is right for you, visit Haas Mediation & Training's divorce page. Whatever your situation (i.e., divorcing parents, already separated, divorcing without children, etc.), we can help. Learn more about the divorce mediation process and the next steps toward moving forward.
Interested in learning more?
- Andrew Haas, Founder & Principal Mediator
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