Assemble your divorce team
Going through a divorce is an isolating experience. Relationships shift as friends and family absorb the news. Your routines and habits are disrupted. Foundational truths about your life are shaken.
But you don’t have to go it alone. It’s critical to assemble a team of people around you during this difficult time. At Haas Mediation, we are intimately familiar with the divorce process. We know you need support, both professionally and personally. Here are some divorce team members we recommend.
Lawyer
When most people think of a divorce advocate to have on their team, their minds turn to hiring a lawyer. While this is a common path to take, there are both pros and cons to consider.
On the plus side, a lawyer will defend your interests alone. You can outline your wishes for the divorce settlement, and your lawyer will do their best to either obtain them or explain why they might be unrealistic. If the divorce becomes contentious and you must appear in court, your lawyer is an expert in the law and court system, saving you the headache of navigating bureaucracy on your own.
Unfortunately, lawyers are extremely expensive. There is often an upfront retainer cost, as well as an average hourly fee of $340 in New York City. By the end of the process - which can be lengthy - lawyer-led divorces in New York City cost anywhere from $12,000 to $25,000 per person. It’s not unheard of for couples to arrive at mediation having spent upwards of $60,000 each… now ready to try mediation instead.
Keep in mind that a lawyer can be added to your team at any point during the divorce process. Just because you don’t hire one right away doesn’t mean you can’t consult one later. Lawyers can also be involved in a number of ways that many people aren’t aware of. This is something your mediator can help explain.
Therapist
Another key member to have on your team during divorce is a mental health professional. It’s possible that you’ve tried therapy before, either alone or with your spouse, and found it less than helpful.
We encourage you to try again. Your mental health and happiness are too important to let fall by the wayside during this extremely stressful time of your life. Talking with friends and family might feel good, but a neutral third party who is trained in mental health can help you deal with deeper struggles and create a healthy path forward.
Consider consulting the Psychology Today therapist directory or myTherapy NYC to find a professional near you. Or if you prefer to meet with your therapist virtually, online services like BetterHelp could be a good fit. If finances are a concern, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America has a search engine that allows you to select sliding scale payment options based on your income.
Realtor
If your living situation is changing, a realtor makes a good addition to your divorce team. Whether you’re selling the family home, getting rid of rental properties, seeking a temporary apartment, or looking to downsize, there’s no need to navigate it alone.
Realtors only make money when they close deals, so don’t hesitate to take advantage of their expertise from a financial perspective.
Accountant
Speaking of finances, it’s a good idea to hire an accountant or financial planner to help make sense of your current financial situation. Money is often one of the biggest topics of debate during a divorce, so having a professional understanding of what’s at stake is an asset you don’t want to skip.
Consider a one-time consultation if that’s all you can afford, or get established with someone who can help you on an ongoing basis. Here at Haas Mediation, we can provide local recommendations of trustworthy financial professionals.
Friend
While it may seem obvious, it is also important to have a close friend or family member on your divorce team. Ask someone you trust if they will be your “go-to” confidante during this time.
Be clear about what you need so they know how to help. Whether it’s logistical assistance with children, a listening ear, or someone to gently remind you of reality when your mind is spinning out of control, a friend who has been assigned a clear role is best equipped to assist you.
Mediator
Managing your own divorce team can be overwhelming. Divorce exacts a logistical toll on top of the already heavy emotional burden.
Here at Haas Mediation, we are equipped to support you and your entire divorce team. In mediation, you retain autonomy while we make sure you cover all your bases. You and your spouse will discuss desired outcomes with the assistance of a professional mediator, creating a plan that is as unique as you are and bringing in assistance from outside parties as needed.
We don’t want you to go through this alone. Call us today for a free 15-minute consultation to start assembling the divorce team you need.
Interested in learning more?
- Andrew Haas, Founder & Principal Mediator
Schedule a free intro call.
Intro calls offer a first step toward determining your next steps, taking 10-15 min. Whether or not mediation is right for you, this is an opportunity to learn more.
During your intro call, you can:
Share about your interest
Ask questions
Learn more about the pricing and mediation process
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